Though much of the media and TV police procedurals may find this shocking, men get hurt, too. For male survivors of domestic violence, rape, or sexual assault, understanding therapists, psychologists and counselors are nearby. Help is a telephone call or mouse click away.

First Do This

No citizen has to silently tolerate or accept sexual abuse, domestic violence, assault, or rape. Your first call must be to law enforcement. You may also be protecting your children from domestic violence, so even if you struggle with your own pride, remember your responsibility to shield your kids. Besides, woman-on-man violence is more common than you may think.

Second, seek emergency shelter through your county or by asking law enforcement for assistance in providing housing for yourself and your children.

Next, reach out to a family law attorney to get legal protections in place:

  • Emergency Protective Order
  • File for divorce based on fault grounds (§ 20-91, your spouse “has been guilty of cruelty, caused reasonable apprehension of bodily hurt…”)

Never assume a domestic abuser is going to change, stop, or accept responsibility. And remember, domestic violence is never the fault of the victim. You cannot control others’ behavior, but you can control your response to their actions.

Male Survivor

Male Survivor is a nationwide clearinghouse for connecting men traumatized by domestic violence with therapists and support groups.

A recent check for the Virginia listings provided 11 counselors and therapists specializing in helping male victims. The site also coordinates webinars and other resources aimed at helping men cope with domestic violence.

Men’s Survivors’ Group

Fairfax County has had to innovate ways to reach and help Virginians affected by domestic violence during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Teletherapy is available for free, with short-term individual and family counseling services at (703) 324-5730. Choose the option for Counseling Services. The county’s Domestic and Sexual Violence Services 24-hour hotline is still available at (703) 360-7273.

The Men’s Survivors’ Group is for men who were sexually abused as children. A trained therapist specializing in trauma and men sexually abused as boys leads this confidential group. This is an open-enrollment group.

By participating, you will:

  • Listen to and learn from others in a supportive community
  • Develop more understanding and acceptance of yourself
  • Realize you are not alone or broken, and you will find your strength to move on

When circumstances permit, the English-only group is in the Springfield, Virginia, area and meets on the first and third Tuesdays of each month from 7:30 p.m. – 9 p.m.

To enroll, please contact the following group facilitator, Chris Davies, for a private, face-to-face session by calling (703) 704-6727. TTY is 711.

Sexual Assault Resource Agency

In the Charlottesville area, the Sexual Assault Resource Agency (SARA) offers a hotline at (434) 977-7273, and an email, info@saracville.org, for men (and women and children) in Albemarle, Fluvanna, Green, Louisa and Nelson Counties who have survived sexual abuse and are struggling to make decisions regarding their healing.

The group’s regular telephone number (not a hotline) is (434) 295-7273.

YMCA South Hampton Roads

The YMCA’s Men’s Peer Support Group meets every Monday from 5:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. to provide a space for group members “who identify as male and are survivors of interpersonal violence.”

Members share their experiences and feelings with others who have been through similar trauma. This free group is open to the public. New members can join at any time by calling (757) 625-4248.

Franklin County Family Resource Center

Emergency shelters are not for women only. The Franklin County Family Resource Center welcomes men with children. Men and their kids who have survived domestic violence can learn safety planning, receive crisis intervention, and find support groups. The hotline is (540) 483-1234 and the regular office number in Rocky Mount is (540) 483-5088.

Beyond steering Virginia’s men toward counselors and therapists, The Firm For Men stands ready to provide excellent legal advice on all family law issues. Contact us today or telephone our Virginia Beach office at (757) 383-9184. We specialize in defending Virginia men’s rights, safeguarding their financial security, and securing justice.