A common nail is called a common nail because it is the most common nail used in interior construction, though the term “common nail” itself is used only about three times in every 100 million words, according to the Oxford English Dictionary. (Yeah, we just blew up that figure.) So if “common nail” is rare, how rare is domestic violence against men in Virginia?

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Physical and Sexual Violence Statistics

The 2019 edition of the Centers for Disease Control’s report, the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, gives us these figures:

  • Approximately half (53.3 percent) of heterosexual women in the U.S. experienced some form of contact sexual violence (CSV) during their lifetimes
  • About 3 in 10 (29.3 percent or 32.8 million) heterosexual men in the U.S. experienced CSV during their lifetimes
  • Intimate partner violence (which includes stalking, contact sexual violence, and physical violence) has been experienced by 52 million American men in their lifetimes
  • These traumatic experiences produced post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms in 13.9 percent of heterosexual men
  • 6 percent of heterosexual men reported injuries from intimate partner violence, with 3.8 percent requiring medical care

Physical violence is horrific. Yet other forms of spousal and domestic abuse exist. The same report shows over 4 in 10 heterosexual men (44.9 percent or 50.3 million) experienced psychological aggression perpetrated by an intimate partner during their lifetimes.

Experience of coercive control was reported by 42.5 percent (47.6 million) of heterosexual men.

Before bemoaning the United States as some sort of outlier, take a look at international figures. A summary of studies from several countries gives us these numbers:

  • The various studies yielded prevalence rates for domestic physical violence against men as low as 3.4 percent to as high as 20.3 percent
  • Most of the affected men had been reciprocally violent toward their partners
  • 6 percent to 40 percent of reporting men said they had been abused or maltreated as children
  • Causes for the domestic violence against men are alcohol abuse, jealousy, mental illness, physical impairment, and short relationship duration
  • Consequences of violence include minor physical injuries, impaired physical health, mental health problems such as anxiety or a disruptive disorder, and increased consumption of alcohol and/or illegal drugs
  • A sobering 8.8 percent of disabled American men in the survey experienced sexual violence

Female Against Male Sexual Violence

VaData.org tells us that roughly seven percent of the Commonwealth’s sexual violence is female against male, breaking down along these relationships:

  • Spouse/partner — 28 percent
  • Acquaintance — 25 percent
  • Other/unknown — 25 percent
  • Stranger — 10 percent
  • Date — 9 percent
  • Family/household member — 3 percent

While 93 percent of sexual violence is male against female, you cannot discount the 7 percent of Virginians suffering from woman-on-man violence. By comparison, only 3 percent of residents moved to Virginia from out of state in 2015. Surely nobody would dismiss the economic and cultural impact of move-ins. The impact on Virginia’s men from domestic or sexual violence cannot be dismissed, either.

Virginia’s State Police provided a 2016 report on Crime in Virginia. Though the report does not separate woman-on-man from man-on-man violence, it does offer these figures:

  • Males ages 0-17 were victims of forcible sex offenses 593 times
  • Virginia men ages 18-35 were victims 115 times
  • Men 36 years and older were victims 44 times
  • The total, 752 men, were victims of forcible sexual fondling, assault with an object, forcible sodomy, and forcible rape
  • 21 men reported forcible rape
  • Nonforcible offenses of statutory rape and incest are not counted

These crimes were reported against a backdrop of 5,529 forcible sexual offenses, indicating Virginia’s men comprised 13.6 percent of victims of forcible sexual offenses in 2016.

Male Victims of Family & Intimate Partner Homicide

Even more appalling than domestic violence that leaves victims scarred and scared is family and  intimate partner (FIP) homicide. This somber classification of crime is cataloged by the Virginia Department of Health. The 2016-2017 report shows these facts:

  • Most FIP homicide victims were male (76.6 percent) and identified as black (73.2 percent)
  • Males 18-24 years of age had the highest homicide rate with 23.7 deaths per 100,000 persons
  • Most (72 percent) homicides were committed using a firearm
  • From 2016-2017, 298 FIP homicide attempts occurred in Virginia, resulting in 326 deaths, which is a rate of 1.9, representing a 29 percent increase in this rate from 2015

The report breaks down Family and Intimate Partner Homicide (FIP) into subcategories:

  • Intimate Partner Homicide (IPH) — A homicide in which the victim was killed by one of the following: spouse (married or separated) or former spouse; current or former boyfriend, girlfriend or same–sex partner; or current or former dating partner
  • Intimate Partner Associated (IPA) Homicide — A homicide in which the victim was killed as a result of violence stemming from a current or former intimate partner relationship

When we pull out to examine IPA homicides in Virginia, even more sad news emerges:

  • The majority of victims of IPA were male (79.5 percent), with males dying at nearly twice the rate in IPA homicide when compared with males killed directly by an intimate partner or family member (0.7 compared to 0.4)

Virginia Domestic Violence Laws

All domestic violence laws in Virginia are gender neutral so that Virginia’s men receive the same protections as Virginia’s women. Code of Virginia § 18.2-57.2 outlines:

  • Domestic assault charges against family members
  • Penalties for those charges
  • Escalating punishments for repeat offenses

Assault is a threat to commit battery; battery is physical touching that is inappropriate, unwanted, rude or offensive. Neither term makes any distinction for gender of either the aggressor or the victim.

Domestic violence against men is common enough that the same laws that punish wife abusers are meted out to husband abusers:

  • Any person who commits an assault and battery against a family or household member is guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor, which is punishable by “confinement in jail for not more than twelve months and a fine of not more than $2,500, either or both.”
  • Virginia has a “three strikes” law, too, so that a repetition of domestic violence elevates the third incident to a Class 6 felony, punishable by “a term of imprisonment of not less than one year nor more than five years, or in the discretion of the jury or the court trying the case without a jury, confinement in jail for not more than 12 months and a fine of not more than $2,500, either or both.”

Domestic violence can be perpetrated by any family member. Code of Virginia § 16.1-228 defines a family member:

Family or household member” means (i) the person’s spouse, whether or not he or she resides in the same home with the person, (ii) the person’s former spouse, whether or not he or she resides in the same home with the person, (iii) the person’s parents, stepparents, children, stepchildren, brothers, sisters, half-brothers, half-sisters, grandparents and grandchildren, regardless of whether such persons reside in the same home with the person, (iv) the person’s mother-in-law, father-in-law, sons-in-law, daughters-in-law, brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law who reside in the same home with the person, (v) any individual who has a child in common with the person, whether or not the person and that individual have been married or have resided together at any time, or (vi) any individual who cohabits or who, within the previous 12 months, cohabited with the person, and any children of either of them then residing in the same home with the person.

Accommodation is even made for “fictive kin,” which means “persons who are not related to a child by blood or adoption but have an established relationship with the child or his family.” This prevents a longtime “uncle” unrelated to your family but perpetually present in your life from evading charges of domestic violence, for instance.

What You Can Do as Victim of Domestic Violence?

Virginian men who feel that somehow violence rarely happens to men need to move past that misconception. Shame, embarrassment, and feelings of inadequacy all must be pushed aside in the face of a stark reality: men can be and are abused, even to the point of death, by their intimate partners.

If you have suffered woman-on-man violence, do not take the abuse any longer! Act:

  • Connect with a competent family law attorney
  • Call 1 (800) 799-7233 to speak with someone at the National Domestic Violence Hotline
  • Text BEGIN to 88788
  • Call your local law enforcement
  • Text the Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance at 1 (804) 793-9999
  • Access more than 200 different language translators by calling the Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance at 1 (800) 838-8238

Call Our Domestic Violence Lawyers

If you have been the victim of intimate partner violence, your rights — indeed, your very life — have been threatened. Seek zealous legal representation from The Firm For Men. Contact our office today or call 757-383-9184. We are ready to hammer home justice for you and nail down the evidence needed to confront your abuser.