Divorce is never easy, but when one or both spouses are members of the military, the process becomes even more complex. While the fundamental legal framework for divorce—such as property division, child custody, and spousal support—still applies, military divorces involve additional rules, protections, and unique considerations that can significantly affect the outcome.

Whether you’re stationed stateside or deployed overseas, understanding these differences is critical. Here’s a comprehensive breakdown of what makes military divorce different from civilian divorce—and why working with a military divorce attorney can be crucial.

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Divorce While on Active Duty: Timing, Deployment & Legal Protections

For military couples, divorce can be especially challenging if one spouse is deployed or stationed far from home. Physical separation, limited communication, and the stress of military service itself can create cracks in a marriage that become impossible to repair. If divorce becomes inevitable, timing matters—and so does understanding your legal protections.

Filing While Deployed: Jurisdiction Matters

One of the first challenges is figuring out where to file. Military families frequently move, meaning the servicemember may not meet the residency requirements of the state where they’re currently stationed. Alternatively, the spouse at home may want to file in their home state, creating jurisdictional questions. This matters because state laws vary, particularly when it comes to dividing military pensions.

Divorce Papers While on Deployment

Being served divorce papers during deployment can be disruptive—not to mention unfair if the servicemember is unable to meaningfully participate in the process. That’s why the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA) exists. This law allows active-duty military personnel to postpone court proceedings, including divorce, until they can fully engage in their legal defense. This protection can extend for up to 90 days after active duty ends, ensuring no one is forced into default judgments while serving their country.

What If the Deployed Spouse Files for Divorce?

In cases where the deployed spouse initiates the divorce, navigating the legal process becomes even trickier. Long-distance communication with your attorney, securing documents across borders, and handling custody or property discussions from afar all require experienced legal guidance. This is why partnering with a military-savvy divorce attorney is essential—they understand both family law and military regulations.

Dividing Military Retirement Pay: The Truth About the 10/10 Rule

Military retirement pay is often one of the most valuable assets in a military divorce—but misunderstandings about how it’s divided are common. One of the biggest sources of confusion is the 10/10 Rule.

What the 10/10 Rule Actually Means

Under the Uniformed Services Former Spouses’ Protection Act (USFSPA), the 10/10 Rule establishes a mechanism for payment—not entitlement. It simply states that if:

  • The couple was married for at least 10 years, and
  • Those 10 years overlapped with 10 years of military service,
    then the non-military spouse can receive their portion of the retirement pay directly from DFAS (Defense Finance and Accounting Service).

Important Clarification

This rule does not decide whether the spouse is entitled to a portion of the retirement pay—that’s up to state divorce laws. The 10/10 Rule only determines who sends the check (DFAS or the military spouse). Even if you were married less than 10 years, or the overlap was shorter, your spouse could still be awarded a share of the pension—it would just be paid directly by the servicemember, not DFAS.

Health Care & Benefits: What Happens After Divorce?

For many military spouses, TRICARE coverage and other military benefits are critical lifelines. Divorce changes how (and if) those benefits continue—but again, military divorces follow special rules. This is where the 20/20/20 Rule and the 20/20/15 Rule come into play.

Understanding the 20/20/20 Rule

The former spouse can retain full TRICARE coverage (and commissary/exchange privileges) if all of the following are true:

  • The marriage lasted at least 20 years
  • The servicemember served at least 20 years of credible service
  • The marriage overlapped with at least 20 years of service

The 20/20/15 Rule: Limited Coverage

If the marriage only overlapped with 15 years of service, the former spouse receives TRICARE for up to one year following the divorce. After that, coverage ends unless the spouse obtains health insurance through their own employment or other means.

Remarriage Ends Benefits

Regardless of overlap, remarriage ends TRICARE eligibility for the military ex-spouse. The same applies if they obtain employer-sponsored health insurance.

Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP): Don’t Overlook Future Security

Another important (and often overlooked) piece of the puzzle is the Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP). This plan allows the military member to designate a former spouse as the recipient of a portion of their retirement pay after death. However, SBP coverage for a former spouse is not automatic—it must be negotiated and included in the divorce settlement.

Without explicit agreement on SBP coverage, the former spouse could lose this important financial protection. This is one more reason why experienced legal representation matters.

Why Hiring a Divorce Attorney is Critical

Military divorce is not just civilian divorce with a few extra forms. The interplay of federal laws, military policies, and state family law makes these cases especially complicated. Misunderstanding the 10/10 Rule, filing in the wrong jurisdiction, or failing to address benefits in your settlement could leave you financially vulnerable—or cost you benefits you’re entitled to receive.

A divorce attorney experienced with military divorce knows how to navigate these complexities. They’ll help protect your rights, your retirement, and your family’s future—whether you’re the servicemember or the spouse.

Need Guidance on Your Military Divorce?

At The Firm For Men, we specialize in representing men—including active-duty servicemembers, veterans, and military spouses—in Virginia divorces. Whether you’re deployed, stationed locally, or just starting the divorce process, our team understands the unique challenges military families face.

Call us today at 757-383-9184 or visit us online to schedule your consultation.