Divorces are extremely complicated and, to some extent at least, are all a little messy in their own right. Depending on your personal circumstances and what you get or don’t get out of the divorce in terms of custody, possessions, or other rights, your emotions and dignity may be attacked and left vulnerable.  As divorce lawyers for men, we know there are a few ways huge ways you can tell that your divorce is going to get messy … here are five of them.

1. Emotions Run High When You’re Around Each Other

Without much argument, most would agree that emotions are the very culprit behind messy divorces. By limiting your exposure to situations where emotions run high, you’ll be left in a much better place.  While you can control your vessel, to a degree, your estranged wife may not be able to contain her heartbreak or anger over your separation.  An emotional woman will almost certainly muck up the proceedings of any divorce, and there’s simply not much you can do about it.

Fortunately, you have control of your own emotions, and maintaining a cool, level-headed approach throughout your divorce will pay dividends when it’s all over. And of course, keeping your cool could land you some major points in the courtroom as the emotions card is always in play during litigation. When it comes to making decisions in the courtroom, you can bet that any competent attorney will use emotional stability as an argument.

2. You Can’t Agree on Child Custody and Visitation

If children are involved, you can bet that your divorce will start to get sloppy when custody comes up.  Unless your future ex-wife has absolutely no dealings with your children and/or has zero emotional attachment, you can be guaranteed that she’ll fight with every last breath for legal custody of your kids.

While you can’t control how riled up your estranged wife gets about child custody, you can keep your cool in the scenario.  Without sounding too cliché: think of your kids!  Keep them in mind as you go through your proceedings and especially through your custody case.  By honoring their best interests, you are surely more likely to compose yourself in front of the court.

3. You Have Lots of Marital Property (i.e. Junk to Fight Over)

If you and your wife shared many physical possessions, it should come as no surprise to you that those material items will be the source of great conflict.

The best thing you can do when it comes to physical possessions throughout your proceedings is to keep a physical and mental inventory of everything you and your wife shared.  Knowing exactly what you have and what its monetary value is will help you do some quick math when it comes down to decision time.  When the time comes, you’ll know what you can surrender and what you can go after in order to get exactly what you want without squandering the things you hold dear.

4. The Divorce Blame Game is Continually Tempting You

No one wants to play it, but everyone seems to use it.  If the circumstances of your divorce are already pretty clear, and one party is clearly at fault in some way, shape, form, or fashion, the blame game will ensue.  Even the innocent party is often the butt of the joke in the blame game.

If the game starts, stay on the sidelines.  You’ll most certainly be tempted to jump in and voice your opinion of how your ex was wrong and caused it all to fall apart, but you’re not doing yourself or your legal defense any favors.  Even if you have valid reasons to participate in blaming your spouse for her trespasses, don’t get involved.  It won’t profit you any and will likely lead you into a spiral of emotions.

Save Yourself the Trouble: Hire a Divorce Lawyer for Men

In the end, it’s you who controls your destiny in your divorce proceedings.  While emotions, your spouse, your children, and your assets all play a role in the toll a divorce takes on you, it’s up to you to respond positively and appropriately to adversity.  Keep your head on straight and don’t feed into the mental games of emotion, greed, or blame.  Instead, stay focused on the things that matter most to you: your children, your job, and everything you’ve worked so hard for.

For this very reason, you need a family law attorney who will look out for your best interests and keep those things at the forefront of their legal defense.  You need a lawyer who has only represented men and never a woman.  Call The Firm For Men at 757-383-9184 today to get a consultation with a competent men’s divorce lawyer.  Stay ahead of the messy divorce game and get a team of expert attorneys on your sideline. We’ve been serving Virginia Beach for over a decade and are proud to serve all the men of Hampton Roads with family law representation.

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