Apps update. Fashions update constantly (which means the pandemic pajamas have gotta go). When you move, you update companies, relatives, neighbors, and organizations with your new address. But what about a divorce? What kinds of things should you update after your Virginia divorce?

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Credit Issuers, Utilities & Insurance

Sure, these items are tedious, but they must be done to protect your financial future, your name, and (in some cases) your life.

  1. Close all joint credit card accounts, post office boxes, and safe deposit boxes; open new ones in your own name
  2. Snag a new, free copy of your credit report to make sure accounts you requested to be closed were really closed; verify the credit agency file has been updated (by federal law, you can get one free report from each of the three major agencies every year, so never pay for this service!)
  3. Update the name of the responsible party on utility bills for the family home (assuming you moved out)
  4. Make sure you are have health insurance, whether through COBRA benefits from your ex’s employer, through your own employer, or through a self-employed program
  5. Get your own automobile insurance policy
  6. Update beneficiaries on life insurance, 401k accounts, pensions, and IRAs
  7. If either you or your ex-spouse is court-ordered to divide a pension, make absolutely certain the paper trail extends all the way to the pension fund administrator; if you are due money from your ex-spouse’s retirement account, make sure you have a bank account ready to receive deposits
  8. Update your mailing address with credit card and insurance companies, banks, the Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV), and the Virginia Department of Elections
  1. Change deeds and titles on all personal assets like cars, primary residences, vacation homes, and recreational vehicles
  2. Record changes with the mortgage company
  3. Prepare a new will and new trust documents, including an Advance Directive, living will, and medical Power of Attorney as appropriate
  4. Update your estate plan
  5. Ensure your divorce attorney, accountant, tax preparer, and other professionals have your new contact details (physical address, telephone, email)
  6. Obtain a certified copy of your final divorce decree

Kids’ Medical Documents & Other Records

You may need your ex-spouse to sign an IRS Form 8332 (Release/Revocation of Release of Claim to Exemption for Child by Custodial Parent) to indicate what your agreement is regarding claiming the children as exemptions. That’s Item #15; here are six more child-related matters:

  1. Keep records of your children’s medical costs you incur, including insurance claims, copays, and the like
  2. If co-parenting is a a ticklish subject, keep and update records of the quality, duration, and date/time of every visit
  3. Securely store the Social Security numbers of your ex-spouse and your children (for tax purposes)
  4. Update your knowledge of your children’s grade levels, recent report cards, teachers’ names, and the names of their best school friends
  5. Update the children’s schools with correct contact information for both parents, emergency contacts, and the names of people permitted to pick up or drop off your children
  6. Update your refrigerator by taking down photos of fishing trips, weekends with a new flame, or sports memories, all so your kids have space for their adorable artwork

Friends, Work & Your Kids’ School

Be ready to field mail and telephone calls from people who think you are still half of a couple. You may need to update a large group of casual and peripheral people, and Love To Know has many tips on doing this without turning yourself inside out:

  1. Start by updating people you are closest to emotionally, since you will have fresh wounds and are likely to stumble through the explanation—this means your own children, then your parents, then other close family members
  2. Update close friends next, followed by casual friends—as each layer of social distance increases, your explanation becomes briefer and more polished (since you have rehearsed and gotten past the painful parts)
  3. Update your immediate boss only if you think your work schedule will be affected; co-workers do not need to know but if you feel compelled to share, be extremely brief
  4. Update the parents of your children’s close friends, your kids’ teachers (so they can look out for changes in behavior), the school counselors, your kids’ pediatrician, and babysitters

Update your recordkeeping to include spousal support payments. Update your calendars frequently to reflect changes to parenting time schedules. Track your child support payments (Items #26, #27, and #28) .

The Other Stuff

If you changed your residence, going from a rambling 19th century farmhouse down to a pied a terre in the city, you likely have more stuff than your new digs will fit:

  • An eight-piece sectional sofa
  • The rustic 6-foot by 3-foot wall mirror
  • A 98-inch flat screen television
  • That 32-inch storage ottoman

Item #29: Update your look by downsizing your possessions before you move. Then, instead of shopping for new “fast furniture” from a certain Swedish store, buy from consignment shops, thrift stores, and charities. Stock one piece at a time and be content with a little open space until your budget frees up more funds for finer furniture.

Item #30 on your To-Do list may be the most important: contact us today at The Firm For Men. You will get updated, experienced counsel from attorneys who keep up with all the legal developments in Virginia family law. You can also telephone our offices at (757) 383-9184, to schedule a consultation with one of our Virginia Beach family lawyers today!