In 2016, we provided a glimpse into the tragedy of intimate partner violence directed at men. Sadly, this issue has not gone away. Virginia’s men are still victims of domestic violence.

Women and Men and Intimate Partner Violence

Intimate partner violence has other names:

  • Spousal abuse
  • Domestic abuse
  • Domestic violence

Domestic violence (applicable to everyone in a household) is not the same as intimate partner violence (applicable only to your sexual partner). Married couples can experience spousal abuse; intimate partner violence applies to married and unmarried couples.

Whatever you call the crime, it reaches all demographics:

  • Male; female; nonbinary
  • Every sexual preference
  • Folks from newborns to elderly citizens
  • All races, ethnicities, economic levels, and religious affiliations
  • White collar, blue collar, pink collar, scarlet collar, or no collar
  • Highly educated to high school dropouts

Many Virginians are shocked to learn that men are victims of domestic violence; almost all media reports focus on women as victims. Women are more often the victims, yes, but men are abused and assaulted, too.

Define Domestic Violence

We need to be clear about the topic we are studying. One Virginian’s definition of domestic violence may not mesh with another’s view. Different organizations provide different definitions:

  • The U.S. Department of Justice — “Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, psychological, or technological actions or threats of actions or other patterns of coercive behavior that influence another person within an intimate partner relationship. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone.”
  • The United Nations — “Domestic abuse, also called “domestic violence” or “intimate partner violence”, can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person … Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.”
  • National Coalition Against Domestic Violence — “Domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, psychological violence, and emotional abuse. The frequency and severity of domestic violence can vary dramatically; however, the one constant component of domestic violence is one partner’s consistent efforts to maintain power and control over the other.”

You can interpret your own meaning from these dense and detailed definitions. Legally, domestic violence is assault and battery. While always coupled in television police procedurals, the two terms have two different meanings that emerge, not from Virginia law, but from the Virginia Model Jury Instructions (VMJI):

  • “An assault is [an overt act intended to do bodily harm to another together with the present ability to cause such harm; an overt act intended to place a person in fear or apprehension of bodily harm that creates in him a reasonable fear or apprehension].” [VMJI 37.350]
  • “A battery is the willful touching of another, without legal excuse or justification, done in an angry, rude, insulting, or vengeful manner.” [VMJI 37.300]

Virginia Laws on Assault & Battery

Under Virginia law § 18.2-57.2, assault and battery against a family member is a Class 1 misdemeanor. A Class 1 misdemeanor carries these penalties, laid out in § 18.2-11:

  • Confinement in jail for not more than twelve months and a fine of not more than $2,500, either or both

If the behavior is repeated two additional times within 20 years, the crime is elevated to a Class 6 felony. The punishment for a Class 6 felony, from § 18.2-10:

  • A term of imprisonment of not less than one year nor more than five years, or in the discretion of the jury or the court trying the case without a jury, confinement in jail for not more than 12 months and a fine of not more than $2,500, either or both

Under Virginia’s laws, less obvious forms of abuse can be legally punished. Domestic or intimate partner violence can include all these tactics:

  • Physical abuse — Any use of physical force like hitting, shoving, biting, strangling, or using weapons with the intention of causing fear or injury
  • Emotional abuse — Eroding a person’s sense of self-worth and independence through constant criticism, intimidation, humiliation, and refusal to ever be pleased
  • Sexual abuse — Any sexual behavior performed without consent
  • Financial abuse — Controlling all money and resources, stealing from or defrauding a partner, or withholding access to funds
  • Psychological abuse — Causing fear through intimidation; threatening physical harm to oneself, the victim, others, or pets; destruction of property; and isolating the victim from friends and family

Statistics About Domestic Violence Against Men

Now that we know what domestic violence or intimate partner violence is, that it crosses all boundaries, and is taken seriously by Virginia law enforcement, let’s unpack the latest numbers alongside the earlier data.

In our previous article, we relied on statistics from the Centers for Disease Control, which offered 2010 data. Our updated information comes from the same source but uses 2015 data (the latest available).

The National Center for Injury Prevention and Control’s Division of Violence Prevention offers the “National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey: 2015 Data Brief – Updated Release,” from which these numbers emerge:

  • The 2010 U.S. data said 1 in 7 men experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime; 2015’s numbers show about 1 in 3 men in the U.S. experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime
  • In 2010, nearly half of all men in the U.S. experienced psychological aggression from an intimate partner in their lifetime; the 2015 report shows 34.2 percent of men faced this form of abuse
  • In 2010, more than a quarter of men in the U.S. experienced physical violence, rape and/or stalking by an intimate partner; the 2015 report indicates a drop to 10.9 percent
  • Of men who have been stalked, the 2010 data showed 1 in 18 were stalked to the point they believed that either themselves or someone close to them would be harmed or killed; the 2015 points to an uptick, 1 in 17, who felt similar fears

Distasteful and repellent as this next tranche of numbers may be, they illustrate a stark reality. Men are sexually abused by their intimate partners with shocking regularity:

  • Nearly a fifth of men (17.9 percent) reported unwanted sexual contact at some time in their lives
  • About 1 out of every 14 men have been made to penetrate someone else at some moment in their lives
  • About 2.6 percent of American men — roughly 2.8 million — experienced completed or attempted rape in their lifetimes

For anyone still harboring antiquated ideas that men cannot be raped or forced to rape others, a quick brush-up of current literature can resolve that problem. Women, especially women in intimate relationships, can compel their male partners to “rise to the occasion” through entirely physiological reactions (against their will). Introducing drugs or alcohol increases the likelihood a woman will sexually overpower a man (5.5 percent of U.S. respondents in the 2015 survey indicated this).

Domestic Violence Statistics in Virginia

The national figures may be unsettling, but Virginia’s men will find no solace in the Commonwealth’s data, either. The State Report by the same organization provides these figures:

  • 1,101,000 or 34.8 percent of males were victims of contact sexual violence
  • 509,000 male victims (16.1 percent) of attempted or completed rape
  • 367,000 men — 11.6 percent — with forced penetration, attempted or completed
  • 314,000 men — 9.9 percent — reporting sexual coercion
  • 827,000 men, or 26.2 percent, reporting unwanted sexual contact

The perpetrators of sexual violence against Virginia’s men breaks down like this:

  • 8 percent or 247,000 victims were assaulted by the current or former intimate partner
  • 3 percent (306,000) victims were attacked by acquaintances

(The uncounted 1.9 percent comes from rounding and relative standard errors; no men reported intimate sexual violence from strangers.)

Domestic Violence Attorneys

Help for male victims of intimate partner violence do not have to face their hurdles alone. Victims of domestic violence can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.  Many support groups for domestic violence victims in Virginia are also readily available.

On the other hand, if you are accused of domestic abuse in Virginia, you face personal, financial, and professional ruin.

If you are wrongly accused of committing domestic violence against your partner, call The Firm For Men’s Virginia Beach office at (757) 383-9184 or contact us today! We can represent you, whether you are the victim of intimate partner violence or the accused perpetrator of domestic violence.