Lancing a boil is a simple process, really. Apply hot compresses “to encourage the boil to come to a head and drain.” It’s disgusting, we know, but for many Virginia Dads, lancing a boil is preferable to trying to find fun things to do with teenagers. Well, suck it up, Buttercup, because we have great ideas for real (and completely legal) fun things to do with your teenagers.

Motoring: You’re Not (That) Lame (Destination: Virginia Beach)

Start with the proposition that you are, by being the dad, hopelessly uncool. Assume for an instant that you have the teens for parenting time. If you can entice your teenagers into your car, you can take them to a completely different car for them to drive, on their own: Motor World .

Eleven go-kart tracks, 250 go-karts in 16 different styles. If your teen is at least four feet tall, (s)he’s in. You can stay out, or ride and race with them. Only the adult speed track requires a waiver, photo ID, and minimum 16 years of age.

Soaked and Stoked (Destination: Virginia Beach)

The Rudee Rocket is one big-a$$ speedboat, powered by a 2000-horsepower motor. It cruises off Virginia Beach and carries so many passengers, your teens can sit far, far away from you. They can pretend not to know you, but they can’t pretend to be bored. Speed, dolphins, the ocean — all tucked into an hour-long cruise.

If they sit in the bow and relegate you to the stern, you won’t see them crack a smile. But you’ll know. You were a Good Dad.

Cooler Once You Get There (Destination: Roanoke)

The Roanoke Pinball Museum is (cough cough) a museum, yes, but hear us out. You can play the pinball machines. The museum has 45 machines from 1932 through 2016, none of which require your child to slouch on the couch like a grouch.

Relive your summer of fame as the boardwalk’s king of King Pin, introduce your teen to Gorgar, and challenge your child in a competition on Captain Fantastic.

Float On (Destination: Buchanan)

Twin River Outfitters rents kayaks, canoes, rafts, and river tubes. You head out on the Upper James River, choosing from 1.5-hour, four-hour, full-day, or multi-day trips.

You can also arrange primitive camping with Twin River, which is a great bonding experience and can rekindle some tattered relationships between fathers and children.

You have kids spanning many ages, with the grumbly teens topping the list? Try the river tubing. Gentle, lazy, relaxing fun for all.

Spear Me the Details (Destination: Appamattox)

To begin, it is not just a spear; it’s an atlatl. From time to time, Holliday State Park in Appomattox offers atlatl lessons. An atlatl, as your teen will delight in informing everyone after this session, is a way to increase the velocity of a Stone Age spear.

No need to trade jeans for rough furs; just do not bring your kids under 10 for this slightly terrifying, slightly astounding event.

Completely Tolerable (Destination: Lynchburg)

The sorcery behind a year-round ski slope may be enough to entice your teen to travel with you to Lynchburg, where the Snowflex Centre beckons.

Snowflex uses artificial-surface slopes to let teens and others snowboard or ski during any season. Help your teen perfect her form or master his moves. Get lessons for yourself so you will be slightly less embarrassing when chaperoning your teens in winter.

I’m Board (Destination: Virginia Beach)

Tula Adventures in Virginia Beach rents paddleboards, wakeboards, kiteboards and kayaks. Your kids will have the whole Long Creek before them, so your teens can legitimately claim not to hear you.

The teens can get lessons, you can all take a kayak tour together, or you can totally laze it up with a private pontoon boat tour (BYO food and beverages).

I Hate You … What’s For Dinner? (Destination: Arlington & Sterling)

Cookology offers cooking classes for little kids, bigger kids, and adults. Kids 16 and over can take adult classes, but Cookology also offers skills for those aged 12 to 18.

Be brave, because Cookology teaches real cooking techniques, including knife use. Your kids will think the chef’s toque is great, but will never admit it. Toque. That’s the tall white hat.

Cookology: 125 different classes, two locations, and handmade ravioli. (If your situation is truly dire, they do teambuilding events, too.)

Rock, No Roll (Destination: Mouth of Wilson)

The reputed best bouldering in Virginia is at Grayson Highlands State Park. The boulder fields are meant to stay pristine, so no ropes, no rock chipping. Four main boulder fields and three smaller fields offer over 700 named climbing routes.

The park is in Mouth of Wilson, and also offers hiking trails, horse paths, and mountain biking.

The Firm For Men always wants the best for our male clients and their children. Contact us online or telephone our office today to learn how we can improve the future for you after a separation, divorce, or during a custody clash.