Legal mumbo jumbo. Clients say that when overwhelmed by legal talk. Mumbo jumbo seems to come to us from the Mandinka peoples of Africa, where Maamajomboo referred to a masked dancer. Somehow in the 1920s the words mumbo jumbo turned into a description of incomprehensible language, like the legal terms PO, fault grounds, and petitioner. We promise to lift the mask off all those words relating to divorce and protective orders.
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- Plaintiff, Petitioner, Defendant, Respondent
- Steps in a Virginia Divorce
- Fault Grounds in Virginia Divorce
- Protective Orders
Plaintiff, Petitioner, Defendant, Respondent
In legal cases, the two sides are parties. You can be the party on either end of a protective order (PO). Divorce is a civil lawsuit. A request for a PO is a petition to the court. This distinction generates four words you need to know:
- If you and your attorney file for divorce from your spouse, you are the plaintiff in the divorce lawsuit and your spouse is the defendant.
- Asking the court for a PO against the other party makes you the petitioner and the other party the respondent.
Of course, if you are on the receiving end of a lawsuit for divorce, you are the defendant. And if you are served with a PO, you are the respondent.
You do not need to worry yourself with all the wording if you work with an experienced and trusted family law attorney.
You don’t even have to know the process of how Virginia divorce works, but it does help.
Steps in a Virginia Divorce
Though every case has unique features, divorce lawsuits in Virginia generally unfold along these lines:
- One of the two spouses files a complaint (while you can try to do this yourself, attorneys do it efficiently and correctly); this complaint is filed with the Circuit Court having jurisdiction over one or both of you (either of you is a resident in that Court’s jurisdiction)
- Notice is served to the defendant by the court clerk’s office or through a deputy sheriff
- In contested divorces, discovery, or the presentation of evidence from both sides, takes place; each side shows its evidence to the other side
- Depositions can be taken
- In uncontested divorces, a judge reviews all the documentation and evidence; in contested divorces, a trial is held in which all the evidence is presented before the judge
- A judge issues a final decree of divorce (signing off on paperwork in an uncontested divorce or ruling from the bench in a contested trial)
Divorces in Virginia fall into two binary categories:
- Uncontested or Contested Divorce — With uncontested divorce, the two parties agree on all major aspects of the divorce and do not need any decisions from the bench, leaving a judge to just review paperwork and signs a final divorce decree; with contested divorce, the two parties cannot agree on major issues and ask a Circuit Court judge to resolve the conflict
- Fault Grounds or No Fault Divorce — By far a no-fault, uncontested divorce is the streamlined, economical and humane way to divorce, but not all couples enjoy this luxury of assigning no fault (blame) to one party; fault grounds indicate one party accuses the other of something really, really, really bad
This may be confusing, but those two binary choices result in four different possibilities:
- Uncontested, no-fault divorce — The most common, sleekest, bestest way to do it!
- Uncontested fault grounds divorce — One of you admits to awful stuff, possibly triggering a petition for a Protective Order
- Contested no-fault divorce — Pricey but manageable
- Contested fault grounds divorce — the nastiest, most brutal, possibly most expensive one of all, and definitely a top candidate for a Protective Order
Fault Grounds in Virginia Divorce
Five fault grounds are listed in Code of Virginia § 20-91:
- Adultery — Hard to prove, but definitely winnable
- Sodomy or buggery outside of marriage — what you two do privately is your business, but do not ask other folks to join in (this fault ground is seldom applied in the 21st century)
- Felony conviction resulting in incarceration of a year or longer
- Cruelty or causing reasonable apprehension of bodily hurt — all manner of abuse can qualify, from financial abuse to emotional, sexual, mental, or physical abuse
- Desertion or abandonment
The party accused of these five fault grounds will suffer great reputational damage, even if the case is not proved during divorce proceedings. For that and other reasons, fault grounds divorce is rare nationally. According to Forbes:
- 34 percent of divorces arose from extramarital affairs or infidelity (adultery, in Virginia’s parlance)
- 23 percent grew out of a lack of commitment (which could imply desertion or abandonment)
- 3 percent stemmed from domestic violence
Your family law attorney will advocate in whatever way you wish, but remember, your lawyer has far greater experience navigating the court system than you. Take your lawyer’s advice, which may be to avoid a fault grounds divorce. Most attorneys will encourage you to attempt a no fault, uncontested divorce, settling nearly everything out of court.
Filing for a protective order is unrelated to the grounds for divorce, so even with a no fault divorce, you and your attorney can still visit an intake office of the Juvenile & Domestic Relations (J&DR) Court for a petition against a spouse or other family member. In most cases, your divorce will be handled in a different court, Circuit Court. If your petition for a PO is not connected to a family member, Circuit Court is the venue for that petition, too.
Protective Orders
In Virginia, three types of protective orders can be issued at any time, whether two parties are unconnected, separated, divorcing, or ending an unmarried relationship.
Virginia’s courts provide a handy guide:
- Emergency Protective Order (EPO) — This expires at the end of the third day following issuance or the next day court is in session, whichever is later
- Preliminary Protective Order (PPO) — This PO lasts 15 days or until a full hearing
- Protective Order (PO) — This type may last up to two years
Since the PO can be requested from a court at any time, two divorcing parties could be subject to a PO during the waiting period (separation) before divorce, during the divorce proceedings, or after the final divorce decree. The petition for a PO is not legally attached to the divorce.
You are the Petitioner
Your divorce will proceed with or without a PO in place against your divorcing spouse. Nothing in the PO interferes with the normal course of divorce proceedings. Filing for a PO does indicate that your divorce is likely contested, of course. You are legally saying you are in fear of harm from your spouse. Such a PO may include fault grounds of cruelty or apprehension of bodily injury.
The PO provides legal protection as the divorce unfolds. In most cases you and your attorney will seek a “permanent” PO lasting two years, since the divorce could take more than a year from start to finish.
The judge’s final decree of divorce does not necessarily end the PO, though a judge can set the PO aside once the divorce is made final.
If, after the divorce, you still feel the need for protection (using evidence you can present in court), you and your attorney will petition a Circuit Court for this new order. You do not return to J&DR because your divorced spouse is no longer a family member.
You are the Respondent
Being on the receiving end of a Protective Order can be intimidating. You may feel you have been falsely accused, but you cannot do anything to jeopardize your situation. Violating a PO likely will result in your arrest and incarceration, divorce or not.
Avoid trying to work around a PO issued to you by contacting your divorcing spouse through friends or relatives. Most POs direct the respondent to stay away from the petitioner physically and electronically:
- No texts, emails, social media, USPS mail, and the like
- No “surprise” appearances at a place of work, church, school, or other place frequented by your divorcing spouse
- No contact through third parties such as friends, coworkers, neighbors, relatives, or members of your social or religious organizations
As the respondent, should you wish to contact your spouse, call your attorney instead. Never demonstrate any behavior that could lead to your arrest by law enforcement. Violating a PO could end your chances for a favorable divorce.
Trust The Firm For Men
During divorce proceedings, you are expected place your trust in several institutions and people:
- Virginia’s court system
- Judges
- Attorneys
Trust Virginia’s courts to evaluate evidence, not hearsay or emotional arguments, about the need for a PO and the unfolding process of divorce.
Trust a judge to issue a final divorce decree whether a PO is in place or not.
Trust your attorney, not yourself, to present your case defending you against charges of domestic violence using evidence and witnesses. A good place to begin is by contacting The Firm For Men at (757) 383-9184 or by contacting us online today. We work hard every day to protect Virginia’s men, defend their rights, and secure a peaceful, safe future for our clients.