A lot of parents scrimp and save to send their children to college. That’s noble, really. It is, but it isn’t legally required. Legally, you owe your children nothing once they reach 18. You are not on the hook for higher education, adult braces, or their fancy new cars. Some things parents do are generous and kind but not necessary, like paying child support for stepchildren.

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Who, in the eyes of Virginia law, is a parent? Under an education law tucked into Code of Virginia § 22.1-213.1, a “parent” legally means:

  1. A biological or adoptive parent of a child;
  2. A foster parent, even if the biological or adoptive parent’s rights have not been terminated, but subject to subsection B;
  3. A guardian generally authorized to act as the child’s parent, or authorized to make educational decisions for the child (but not the Commonwealth if the child is a ward of the Commonwealth);
  4. An individual acting in the place of a biological or adoptive parent (including grandparent, stepparent, or other relative) with whom the child lives, or an individual who is legally responsible for the child’s welfare; or
  5. If no party qualified under subdivisions 1 through 4 can be identified, or those parties are unwilling to act as parent, a surrogate parent who has been appointed in accordance with 8VAC20-81-220.

That particular law pertains to special education and students with disabilities, but a Code is a Code is a Code. You have to get all the way past biological, adoptive, foster, and guardian before you can find “stepparent,” and even it falls after “grandparent.”

What is a Stepparent According to Virginia Law?

Well then, if a parent is so clearly defined under Virginia law, what is a stepparent according to Virginia law? Not much of anything! Unless you go through a stepparent adoption, in which you legally adopt your stepchild, you have no legal obligations, duties, or rights regarding your stepchild.

If your stepchild has a biological or adoptive parent, you as the stepparent have … nothing. If your stepchild has a foster parent, a guardian, or even a grandparent, you as the stepparent have nothing.

That is a good-bad thing, really:

  • Good: You are not financially or legally responsible for your stepchild
  • Bad: You can exert no legal influence over your stepchild

The Code of Virginia in § 20-124.1 recognizes a stepparent in custody as a “person with a legitimate interest” in the welfare of a stepchild:

“Person with a legitimate interest” shall be broadly construed and includes, but is not limited to, grandparents, step-grandparents, stepparents, former stepparents, blood relatives and family members provided any such party has intervened in the suit or is otherwise properly before the court. The term shall be broadly construed to accommodate the best interest of the child.

Under court scrutiny, a stepparent could be awarded visitation or custody if “clear and convincing evidence that the best interest of the child would be served” by such a declaration. That is a decision of last resort, however, as the law makes clear. Stepparents are under no legal requirements to do anything for their unadopted stepchildren.

Should I Pay Child Support for Stepchildren, Though?

That makes child support payments a moral, not a legal, obligation for a conscientious stepparent. If you see a stepchild in need and have the resources to help, you may do so out of the goodness of your heart.

Your generosity does not establish a pattern of expectation. You can provide a one-time financial gift toward higher education, swing by with a trunkful of groceries, or take your stepchild for back-to-school shopping. The child’s biological parent has no legal grounds to demand you continue being generous.

Be wary of any family issues your support may cause. A better method to provide ongoing help is through stepchild adoption.

Stepchild Adoption

When you step up to the plate to say you will adopt your stepchild, you raise your commitment in many ways:

  • Legally, since adoptive parents have legal rights
  • Morally, since you are establishing a lifelong bond with the child
  • Familialy, since you will become a “real” parent

The process is done in accordance with Code of Virginia § 63.2-1241, carrying the nifty title, “Adoption of child by spouse of birth or adoptive parent or other person with legitimate interest.” Hey, that’s you, stepdad!

Your family law attorney can file the petition in the appropriate Circuit Court. The matter is considered routine and generally has very minimal fees involved. The result is your immediate transformation from legal nothing to family hero.

Then, of course, as an adoptive parent, you bear financial responsibility for your adopted stepchild. Forget about “child support payments.” You’re paying for everything! What a swell guy!

What to do about any child custody, child support, or family law matter? Come to us, at The Firm For Men! Contact us today or telephone our Virginia Beach office at (757) 383-9184. We stand ready to answer your questions, protect your rights as a Virginia man, and preserve your bond with your children.