Virginia law can be quirky and outdated. For example, Virginia Code § 18.2-365 (still on the books) says married people cannot have sex outside of marriage. It’s a Class 4 misdemeanor but it doesn’t stop Virginia swingers clubs from … uh … meeting. Virginia law is largely designed to be gender neutral. With family matters like divorce, men stand on equal footing with women.

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Men’s Rights in a Virginia Separation

Either spouse may initiate separation and divorce procedures in Virginia. You do not need your spouse’s consent to separate. You work with an experienced Virginia family law attorney and separate on your timetable. You don’t even need to move out of your marital home to declare a date of separation.

During separation, a pendente lite hearing may be held to firm up rights and responsibilities for both spouses. You have the same legal rights as your spouse and can assert the same rights:

  • Right to remain in your home
  • Right to have full or partial custody of your children
  • Right to visit and continue your relationship with your children
  • Right to temporary spousal support, pending the final divorce decree

You and your attorney can work with your spouse’s attorney to craft a separation agreement that asserts your rights and protects your future. In separating, you have a right to protect assets.

Men’s Rights in a Virginia Divorce

You do not need to have your spouse’s permission to file for divorce. A contested divorce is certainly possible, though uncontested (agreed) divorce is less time-consuming and less expensive. You have a right to end a marriage that brings you misery.

Men can file for divorce based on fault grounds, including the claim that your spouse has been cruel to you. You can also claim “reasonable apprehension of bodily hurt,” a phrase made famous by Manassas resident Lorena Bobbitt’s grievous harm to husband John Wayne Bobbitt.

You lose nothing of your masculinity to assert in court that your spouse is a frightening opponent. Men often suffer domestic violence in shame and silence but Virginia law protects you, too.

Can Men Get Spousal Support?

In Virginia divorce proceedings, spousal support can go to either spouse. In the case of the Bobbitts, she was the primary breadwinner. Had she not performed her amateur penectomy, John could have simply filed for divorce and requested spousal support.

Virginia Code § 20-107.1 outlines the terms of spousal support, and not once is a gender mentioned in the law. Spousal support can be scheduled during separation (through a pendente lite order) and continue after the divorce for a prescribed or undefined time.

In general, if your spouse was the primary earner or brought in significantly more income in a two-earner household, all other factors being taken into account, you could receive a steady schedule of payments. You are free to use the spousal support as you wish, too. Go back to school. Move to nicer digs. Invest. The law does not allow your spouse to question how you spend the support payments.

Does a Father Have Custody Rights?

Virginia law does not recognize an automatic right to full custody of the kids based on gender. It’s right here in Virginia Code § 20-124.2:

“As between the parents, there shall be no presumption or inference of law in favor of either. The court shall give due regard to the primacy of the parent-child relationship but may upon a showing by clear and convincing evidence that the best interest of the child would be served thereby award custody or visitation to any other person with a legitimate interest.”

Everything you do regarding your children in separation and divorce must be seen by the courts to be in the kids’ best interest, not your own. You have a right to apply for full or shared custody of your own kids, no matter their ages. You can ask the court for full custody of an infant, for example.

Your Right to Effective Counsel

An enduring myth in Virginia is that Circuit Court judges automatically defer to the female spouse in most aspects of separation and divorce. This is not legally true, but you need an experienced attorney to ensure it throughout all the court motions and procedures.

Getting effective counsel is your safest way to make certain your rights as a man are upheld in every aspect of the long, slow process from initial separation to final divorce decree. All five major areas have to be examined methodically to ensure maximum legal protection for the man’s rights:

  1. Separation agreement
  2. Equitable property division
  3. Child custody
  4. Child support
  5. Spousal support

Protecting the rights of Virginia’s men is all we do at The Firm For Men. Contact us today or telephone our Virginia Beach office at (757) 383-9184 to schedule an appointment with an experienced family law attorney.