Divorce is rarely pleasant, but it becomes especially exhausting when one spouse refuses to move forward. Many Virginia men come into our office frustrated and drained, asking the same question: “Can she really keep this going forever?”

The answer is no. Your spouse may slow the process, create inconvenience, and increase costs, but she cannot legally prevent a divorce from happening. Virginia courts have tools to stop delay tactics and push a case toward resolution. If your wife is dragging the divorce out, you are not powerless — you simply need to understand how the system works and how to use it.

This guide explains why delays happen in Virginia divorces, what tactics are common, and what legal options are available to help you move your divorce, finances, and parenting rights forward.

Jump to a Section

Why Do Some Spouses Stall a Divorce?

When a spouse delays divorce, it usually has very little to do with reconciliation. More often, delay is about leverage, control, or emotion. Some spouses hope financial pressure will force a better settlement. Others want to keep access to income or benefits for as long as possible. And sometimes the delay is simply retaliation — a way to punish the other party for wanting out of the marriage.

Dragging the process out can feel like a form of control. Every postponed meeting, unanswered email, or unsigned document keeps both people stuck in limbo. Unfortunately, that limbo can cost you time, money, and peace of mind.

But here’s the important part: while stalling can create headaches, it does not create permanent power.

The Legal Reality in Virginia

Virginia is not a state where both spouses must “agree” to divorce. Once you meet the legal grounds — usually six months or one year of separation under Virginia Code § 20-91 — a judge can grant the divorce whether your spouse cooperates or not.

That means your wife does not get a veto. She cannot simply refuse to sign papers and trap you in the marriage forever. Courts exist precisely to resolve disputes when cooperation breaks down.

Judges see delay tactics all the time. They know the difference between legitimate disagreement and intentional obstruction. When one party is clearly slowing the case without good reason, the court can step in and keep things moving.

How Delay Tactics Show Up in Real Life

Delay does not usually look dramatic. It tends to happen in small, frustrating ways that add up over months. A spouse might ignore requests for financial documents, cancel mediation sessions, or miss deadlines repeatedly. She may change attorneys several times, forcing the process to restart. Sometimes there are endless arguments over minor issues simply to avoid reaching agreement on the major ones.

Financial games are also common. A spouse may withhold bank records, delay appraisals, or “forget” to disclose assets. Each delay creates more legal work and, unfortunately, higher attorney’s fees.

In custody cases, delay can be used emotionally. Postponing parenting decisions keeps uncertainty alive and makes it harder for children to settle into a stable routine. That instability can feel like leverage — but it often backfires in court.

How Virginia Courts Stop Stalling

The good news is that Virginia courts have several mechanisms to prevent one spouse from hijacking the timeline. Your attorney can ask the court to order compliance when documents are withheld or deadlines are ignored. Judges can set firm dates, require immediate disclosures, and impose consequences for failure to cooperate.

Temporary hearings — often called pendente lite hearings — are especially powerful. These allow the court to establish temporary custody schedules, support payments, and financial responsibilities while the divorce is pending. In other words, your spouse cannot use delay to starve you out financially or block access to your children.

If your wife outright violates court orders, the judge can hold her in contempt. That may mean fines, attorney’s fees, or other penalties. In extreme cases, the court can even proceed without her participation and finalize the divorce by default.

Simply put, delay tactics often end up costing the delaying spouse more than they help.

Smart Strategies for Fathers

While your attorney handles the legal pressure, your job is to present yourself as the stable, reasonable parent. Judges notice which party is organized and cooperative. Credibility matters more than anger.

Respond promptly to every request. Keep detailed records. Follow every court order to the letter. Stay calm in communications, even if your spouse is not. The more responsible and steady you appear, the more clearly the court sees who is creating the problem.

This approach is especially important for fathers. Demonstrating reliability, consistency, and maturity strengthens your position in custody and parenting-time decisions. Courts reward the parent who reduces conflict — not the one who escalates it.

Protecting Your Children During a Long Divorce

Children often feel the stress of a prolonged divorce before anyone else does. Uncertainty about schedules, homes, and routines can take a toll. That is why judges focus heavily on stability when making custody decisions.

If your spouse is creating chaos, your calm presence becomes even more valuable. Keep routines intact. Show up to school events. Stay involved in daily life. Avoid speaking negatively about their mother. These small, steady actions demonstrate parental fitness better than any courtroom speech ever could.

Remember, your goal is not to “win” against your ex. Your goal is to protect your children and your future with them.

Moving Forward with Confidence

A dragged-out divorce can feel like you are stuck in neutral while the rest of life moves on. But the law does not allow one spouse to hold the other hostage indefinitely. With the right legal strategy and a firm, steady approach, you can push the process forward and reclaim control over your future.

At The Firm For Men, we represent Virginia men and fathers exclusively in family law matters. We understand the tactics that stall divorces — and we know how to stop them. If your wife is dragging the divorce out, let’s talk about how to move your case toward resolution efficiently and decisively.

Call (757) 383-9184 or contact us today for a confidential consultation.