After the long road to separation and divorce, many Virginia men assume that a final decree means a clean break. But for those still paying spousal support, freedom can feel incomplete — especially when an ex-spouse begins living with a new partner. That’s when a critical legal question arises: How does cohabitation impact spousal support in Virginia? The answer can dramatically affect your financial future. Below, we break down the law, the standards of proof, and the strategies that help men reduce or eliminate alimony when cohabitation occurs.

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Understanding Spousal Support in Virginia

Spousal support in Virginia is governed by Virginia Code § 20-107.1, which gives a judge the authority to award support in several forms:

  • Periodic payments for a defined duration
  • Periodic payments for an undefined duration
  • Lump-sum support
  • A combination of any of the above

Spousal support is not automatic. One party must formally request it during the divorce process. If neither spouse asks, neither receives support.

The reasons for awarding support are primarily financial. Judges evaluate factors such as:

  • The needs, earnings, and financial resources of each party
  • The standard of living during the marriage
  • The length of the marriage
  • The age, mental health, and physical condition of each spouse
  • Any unique family circumstances

While courts aim to prevent a major financial disparity between ex-spouses, the paying spouse’s financial burden is not the judge’s central concern.

Changing Circumstances: Virginia Code § 20-109

For men hoping to stop or reduce spousal support after divorce, Virginia Code § 20-109 becomes the most important law. This statute explicitly addresses cohabitation and allows modification or termination of support when circumstances change.

Key language from the statute states that if the receiving spouse has been:

“Habitually cohabiting with another person in a relationship analogous to a marriage for one year or more… the court shall terminate spousal support”

UNLESS:

  • It is otherwise agreed in a contract, OR
  • The receiving spouse proves that termination would be “unconscionable.”

In other words, if your ex-spouse is living like she’s married to someone else, you may no longer be required to financially support her.

What Legally Counts as Cohabitation?

Cohabitation is not just dating, occasionally staying over, or being romantically involved. Virginia courts use the Pellegrin v. Pellegrin four-part test to determine whether a relationship qualifies as cohabitation “analogous to marriage.”

The Four-Part Pellegrin Test

  1. Common Residence — Regularly living together, sharing the home and domestic duties.
  2. Intimate or Romantic Relationship — Exclusivity, affection, and an ongoing intimate bond.
  3. Financial Support — Shared expenses, financial dependence, or interdependence.
  4. Duration & Permanency — At least one year of stable, consistent partnering.

Cohabitation does not include:

  • Casual or short-term sexual relationships
  • Long-distance relationships without shared residence
  • Seasonal travel partners
  • Multiple dating partners

Examples that do support a finding of cohabitation include:

  • Sharing a child
  • Using each other’s credit cards or bank accounts
  • Attending family or school events as a couple
  • Sharing bills and household responsibilities

How to Prove Cohabitation in Court

To modify or eliminate spousal support, you must provide clear and convincing evidence of cohabitation. This is a high standard — not as high as “beyond a reasonable doubt,” but stronger than simple probability.

You may NOT:

  • Trespass on private property
  • Stalk your ex physically or digitally
  • Harass or intimidate your ex or her partner

Legally acceptable evidence includes:

  • Photos and video taken in public locations
  • Witness affidavits from neighbors or community members
  • Social media posts from either partner
  • Depositions of your ex or her partner
  • Proof of shared financial activity

Your lawyer may subpoena bank or credit card records if necessary, but that level of investigation is not always required.

Your goal is simple: show that your ex is living in a marriage-like relationship supported emotionally, physically, and financially by a partner.

Why Cohabitation Cases Aren’t Guaranteed Wins

You might gather detailed evidence and still face challenges in court. Judges require a strong showing that the relationship meets all four parts of the Pellegrin test. If your ex keeps finances separate, maintains some distance, or is discreet about her living arrangements, complete termination might be denied.

In many cases, courts may choose to reduce support rather than eliminate it entirely.

The “Unconscionable” Exception

Even if you prove cohabitation, support may continue if your ex-spouse can show that stopping payments would be unconscionable — meaning grossly unfair or unreasonable.

She may argue:

  • She will face homelessness or hardship
  • Your support is minimal and cohabitation is a financial necessity
  • The economic gap between you is too large

An experienced attorney will be prepared to counter these claims by demonstrating:

  • That your support payments significantly burden your finances
  • That her new partner provides meaningful financial support
  • That continued payments are no longer equitable

Partner With the Right Attorney

Proving cohabitation is complex — and winning requires strategy, documentation, and experience. If you want to reduce or eliminate spousal support in Virginia, you need a legal team deeply familiar with Pellegrin v. Pellegrin, Stroud v. Stroud, and all relevant sections of the Virginia Code.

The Firm For Men focuses exclusively on representing men in Virginia family law. Our spousal support attorneys understand the financial pressures men face after divorce, and we know how to build compelling cohabitation cases that protect your future.

Call (757) 383-9184 or contact us online today to schedule a consultation and start reclaiming your financial freedom.