“See you in court! I will be your worst nightmare and easy to spot. I will be the one in the crop top with the baby blue sport coat.” No you most certainly will not, young man. What may have been okay for Ezekiel Elliott at the NFL draft1 is not okay for Virginia courts. Men are not usually hailed for their fashion sense. They wear brown shoes with grey pants; they wear black socks with plastic sandals. They wear Sansabelt® trousers2, for gosh sakes. Please take these suggestions on courtroom clothing options as gentle hints that you are judged, not just in court, but every day, by what you wear.
Your Court Outfit Should be Gavelworthy
The Virginia Circuit Courts oversee divorce, says not just our law firm but the Virginia Court System itself. This means you will not be going before a jury of your peers with your divorce; you are seen by a Circuit Court judge. If you are dealing with child custody or other child-related issues, you will probably be going before a Juvenile and Domestic Relations District Court and, again, you will be heard by a judge, not a jury. In both situations, you are dressing to please an audience of one — the judge.
Find an old black and white movie like Miracle on 34th Street3 and fast-forward to courtroom scenes. You see that dour person dressed in a black robe, sitting on the high bench about three feet above everyone else? Keep looking — the guy or gal who looks slightly dyspeptic and longing for the 18th century. Transplant him or her to the 21st century and you have your fashion critic for your divorce case. This is not a person likely to take up the “lacey shorts” men’s fashion trend of 2017.
Guys Have it Easy … Just Follow One Simple Rule
Men have for long years had an easy time of fashion, and the same is true with courtroom clothing. Dress simply.
You need not invest in a new three-piece suit, spats and a top hat. Neither should you treat the court like a beach by sporting flip-flops and cut-offs. You can find a happy medium where the judge senses you take her or his courtroom seriously, you convey adulthood instead of privileged punkhood, and you radiate dignity.
Since most men’s closets tend to be barren wastelands inhabited by band merchandise bought at concerts, bib overalls and ill-fitting faded jeans, we are going to dress you from toe to head, one step at a time.
- Shoes — Wear ‘em, and not just any shoes; wear closed-toe, conservative leather shoes in all-black or all-brown, and match the shoe color to your belt; no sneakers, Crocs, sandals or boots
- Socks — Wear ‘em in colors that work with both shoes and pants; no foot and ankle socks, no crew socks; opt for mid-calf and higher, so nobody gets a glimpse of skin if your suit pants ride up when you sit
- Underwear — Always assume someone, by accident, will glimpse the waistband of your underwear, so choose a clean, mostly new pair with no issues, and try your best to keep them hidden behind your shirt and pants
- Pants — If you opt not to wear a business suit (which is preferred but not mandatory), wear dark dress slacks, not denim, jorts, or cargo pants
- Belt — A belt whose color matches your shoes, or suspenders, will work; avoid fancy belts with slogan-screaming buckles
- Shirt — Wear one; wear and tuck in a simple, long sleeve, button-down dress shirt if you are not in a business suit; if wearing a business suit, make certain the shirt color works with the suit color
- Tie — Required if you wear a business suit and optional if you wear a dress shirt; look for dark colors and simple patterns
- Suit — We all chuckle at Cousin Vinny’s sartorial choices in the classic movie, My Cousin Vinny, but the judge played perfectly by Fred Gwynne is who you should picture for your courtroom appearance; a business suit that fits correctly is your best friend in the courtroom
- Piercings — Remove ‘em and thoroughly clean up any fresh holes. Band-Aids are better than glitter
- Hair — Get a fresh haircut to neaten up whatever your style is; despite what Jared Leto and Justin Bieber want you to believe, bangs are not a good look; long hair needs taming with hair ties or a man bun (though man buns are passé)
- Hat — No. No. No.
Hygiene: Because We Have To Say It
Must we say it? Shower or bathe thoroughly before your court appearance. Wear clothes that have been recently cleaned. Iron them. Use antiperspirant or deodorant. If you tend to sweat profusely, wear an undershirt. Brush your teeth after eating breakfast or lunch. Have nothing in your mouth in the courtroom.
How About Accessories … Like Your Wedding Ring!?
You hired an attorney, so you have no need to come into court with a catalog case overflowing with papers. Leave the luggage at home. Turn your cell phone ringer to vibrate. If you are divorcing, wear your wedding ring. Yes, wear it! If you are dealing with post-divorce custody issues, remove your wedding ring. Wear a functioning, inexpensive wristwatch that will not randomly go off during your hearing.
Complete Your Look with The Firm For Men
You are attempting to show to the judge and assembled courtroom that you respect the law, the court, the judge, and yourself. You are showing by your clothing that you take the case seriously and understand what is at stake. You are, perhaps most of all, showing that you are an adult. You are capable of taking responsibility, following rules, and making good decisions.
To learn more about the Do’s and Don’ts of courtroom etiquette, please call The Firm for Men‘s divorce attorneys for men at 757-383-9184. We know what wins judges’ favor, and what appalls them. Go for the win.
[1] https://www.thecut.com/2016/04/ezekiel-elliott-crop-top-nfl-dallas-cowboys.html
[2] http://sansabelt.com/en/content/11-why-sansabelt
[3] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dz2YgjSA8Dg
