Shared custody in Virginia can be one of the most rewarding — and most challenging — parts of co-parenting after separation or divorce. Whether you are just beginning to navigate custody or revisiting your parenting arrangement, the schedule you choose will influence your child’s stability, emotional well-being, and relationship with both parents. Virginia courts encourage meaningful involvement from both parents, but choosing the right structure requires understanding how different schedules work, how judges evaluate them, and how to adapt a plan to your child’s needs.
This expanded guide takes a deep dive into the most common parenting time schedules used in Virginia shared custody cases, offering explanations, advantages, disadvantages, and father-focused strategic considerations. Whether you are negotiating, modifying, or preparing for court, this resource will help you make informed decisions that support your child and strengthen your role as a father.
Jump to a Section
- What “Shared Custody” Means in Virginia
- Understanding Virginia’s Custody Framework
- Common Parenting Time Schedules in Virginia
- How Virginia Courts Decide Custody & Visitation
- Why Shared Custody Doesn’t Always Mean 50/50
- Choosing the Right Parenting Schedule
- Parenting Schedules for School-Age Children
- Schedules for Infants & Young Children
- Long-Distance Custody Schedules
- Holiday, Summer & Vacation Parenting Time
- Modifying a Parenting Schedule in Virginia
- Final Thoughts for Fathers
1. What “Shared Custody” Means in Virginia
Virginia recognizes that children benefit from having both parents actively involved in their lives. Shared custody simply means both parents have meaningful and frequent physical time with the child. It does not automatically imply a 50/50 split.
There are two types of custody:
- Legal custody – decision-making power for health, education, welfare
- Physical custody – where the child lives and when
Most parents share legal custody. Physical custody varies depending on the child’s best interests and the parents’ ability to co-parent effectively.
2. Understanding Virginia’s Custody Framework
Virginia courts must consider the Best Interests of the Child factors found in Virginia Code § 20-124.3. These include:
- Child’s age, needs, and developmental stage
- Existing relationship with each parent
- History of caregiving responsibilities
- Parental cooperation and ability to communicate
- Work schedules and housing stability
- Physical and mental health of each parent
- Risk of abuse, substance issues, or unsafe environments
Parenting schedules must be structured around these court-mandated considerations.
3. Common Parenting Time Schedules in Virginia
Below are the parenting schedules most commonly approved by Virginia courts. This expanded section explains how each schedule works, when it is appropriate, and what fathers should consider before proposing it.
2-2-3 Parenting Schedule
This schedule alternates the child between homes every 2 days, then 3 days:
Example:
Mon-Tue with Parent A → Wed-Thu with Parent B → Fri-Sat-Sun with Parent A → repeat.
Pros:
- Frequent contact with both parents
- Ideal for very young children who need consistent bonding time
- No long gaps without seeing either parent
Cons:
- More transitions — which can be stressful for some children
- Works best when parents live close and communicate well
2-2-5-5 or 5-2-2-5 Schedule
This schedule provides a balance between frequent time with each parent and fewer weekly exchanges.
Advantages:
- Strong consistency — each parent has the same weekdays every week
- Excellent for school-age children
- Reduces conflict and confusion about school routines
Week-On / Week-Off
A pure 50/50 schedule where each parent has full weeks.
Ideal for older children and teens with stable routines. Parents must live reasonably close to the child’s school.
Every-Other-Weekend (80/20) Schedule
This is the most common primary custody plan. One parent (usually the mother) has primary custody, and the other parent (often the father) has alternating weekends, sometimes with a midweek dinner or overnight.
Pros: predictable, easy to manage.
Cons: limited time for the noncustodial parent — often a concern for fathers seeking expanded visitation.
Other Equal-Time Parenting Schedules
Equal shared parenting may also follow patterns such as:
- 3-4-4-3 schedules
- Alternating long weekends
- Half-week splits
The key to 50/50 custody is closeness of homes, child schedule stability, and low parental conflict.
4. How Virginia Courts Decide Custody & Parenting Time
Courts do not automatically prefer one schedule over another. Instead, judges look at:
- Parental availability and work schedules
- Who historically cared for the child day-to-day
- Ability of parents to cooperate
- Child’s psychological and school-related needs
- Travel time between homes
Judges generally want to ensure both parents remain deeply involved — unless safety or stability issues are present.
5. Why Shared Custody Doesn’t Always Mean 50/50
Contrary to common belief, Virginia does not assume equal time is the default. Shared custody simply ensures substantial time for both parents, even if not perfectly even.
Unequal schedules may result from:
- Parents living far apart
- Work schedules (shift work, deployment, long commutes)
- School or childcare logistics
- Children thriving under an established routine that should not be disrupted
6. Choosing the Right Parenting Schedule
When proposing a custody arrangement, consider:
- Your child’s age, developmental stage, and personality
- The distance between parents’ homes
- Each parent’s work routine
- Transportation time and after-school activities
- Ability to maintain consistent routines
A strong schedule is predictable, stable, and centered on the child’s emotional and academic needs.
7. Parenting Schedules for School-Age Children
- 2-2-5-5: Ideal for homework consistency
- Week-on/week-off: Works well if both parents can support school routines
- Alternating weekends + weekdays: A hybrid option common in Virginia courts
8. Schedules for Infants & Young Children
Young children benefit from frequent, shorter visits to maintain bonding.
- 2-2-3 is often preferred for toddlers
- Overnights may increase gradually as the child matures
- Consistency is especially important with very young children
9. Long-Distance Custody Schedules
When parents live far apart, quality replaces quantity. Common long-distance patterns include:
- Longer holiday breaks
- Most or all of summer vacation
- Alternating major holidays
- Regular virtual visitation (FaceTime, Zoom, etc.)
Virginia courts require clarity in transportation arrangements and cost-sharing.
10. Holiday, Summer & Vacation Parenting Time
Holiday schedules are nearly always separate from regular schedules. Courts often divide:
- Thanksgiving
- Winter break
- Spring break
- Mother’s Day/Father’s Day
- Birthdays
Summer parenting time commonly shifts to longer blocks, especially for long-distance parents.
11. Modifying a Parenting Schedule in Virginia
Custody schedules can be modified if there is a material change in circumstances. Examples include:
- Changes in work schedules
- Relocation
- Child’s academic struggles or behavioral issues
- Parental conflict affecting the child
- Safety concerns or substance abuse
A modification requires filing a petition and presenting evidence that the new schedule better supports the child’s best interests.
12. Final Thoughts for Fathers
Shared custody is not just a legal arrangement — it is the structure of your relationship with your child after divorce or separation. Choosing (and defending) the right parenting-time schedule can help protect your bond, ensure your involvement, and support your child’s long-term well-being.
If you need help negotiating, modifying, or defending your parenting schedule, the attorneys at The Firm For Men focus exclusively on representing men in Virginia family law matters. We understand the challenges fathers face and fight tirelessly to secure fair custody arrangements.
Contact our Virginia Beach office at (757) 383-9184 or request a consultation online to protect your parenting time and your child’s future.