In a world of virtual meetings, why would anyone travel for a job? Experts at DecipherZone rattle off 10 reasons for business travel. But too much business travel is just bad for relationships, with even a capitalist bastion like Forbes pointing out it can lead to divorce.
DecipherZone claims your wife still needs to travel for work because of, well, reasons:
- Business Travel Is No Longer A Hassle—We dunno; do we really like taking our belts and shoes off in airports?
- Establishing and Maintaining Relationships—Relationships with companies, not you
- You Can Network—Or, bed a business colleague
- Learning and Development—”I just want to find myself … in a distant hotel bed with a man.”
- Team Building—Sometimes you have to go off to build a team with strangers while letting your home team fall to last place
- Building Your Brand—Let’s see … brands … Trojan, Glyde, SKYN, Lifestyles, Durex … brands
- Conducting Research—”Do you like when I tickle that? When I touch you there?”
- Exploring New Locations—Locations, yeah … see #7 above
- Gaining a Competitive Edge—They say sex is both relaxing and stimulating, perhaps helping you to focus and be more productive; they say that
- Boosting Morale—Who wouldn’t like their company to pay for their far-away affair?
We know we’ve upset you. We kneaded that nugget of neurotic nerves, no doubt. To be fair, though, while your wife might have an affair in the Rochester Ramada while attending a Regional Reflection Retreat, she could also be traveling for above-board reasons:
- Military service members have little or no choice in travel assignments
- Pilots and flight crews have “offices” at 30,000 feet
If you married while your wife was working at Lynnhaven Mall, as a good husband you support her upward aspirations. So can you get upset if she pushed herself to get a better job, even if the new job involves travel?
If you married her knowing she was a U.S. Navy Gunner’s Mate, you have no grounds for griping—or divorce—when she steams out of Norfolk Naval Station headed for [classified] waters. (Still, Lending Tree says military work has the highest occupational divorce rate, at 3.09 percent, more than double the national average of 1.6 percent.)
But, if you married the town librarian and 10 years into your marriage, she announces she’s switching careers and traveling to Sweden to learn massage from a guy named Magnus, you could have grounds for divorce.
Divorce But Not Because of Travel
As Dr. Michael Santo says in Forbes, “business travel doesn’t cause infidelity per se, but instead, the travel itself provides an opportunity to do what there was a predisposition to already do.”
You may view her traveling job as the final break in a crumbling marriage. Her road work may be a reason to move past griping and into court.
Grounds for divorce in Virginia can be for these reasons under Virginia Code § 20-91, all made easier by her traveling job:
- Felony conviction with a sentence of a year or greater—who robs the Piggly Wiggly in their hometown? You should always travel for your crime spree
Her gallivanting could give her giggle-and-wiggle room for behaviors she is already considering. Those questionable behaviors give you reasons to pursue a fault-grounds divorce, but you and your divorce lawyer must prove she is at fault.
What about a no-fault divorce? Her traveling job by itself cannot be reason enough to divorce, but the job could feed a feeling of failure in you:
- You two have been growing distant for some time
- She makes no attempt to compensate for the strain her traveling job causes
- Her travels seem to be for more frequent and for longer periods
- When you suggest joining her on the road, she finds reasons that will not work
- When you send flowers to her hotel room in a cold and distant city, she either does not acknowledge them (was she even in that hotel?) or is embarrassed by them (embarrassed in front of whom?)
A no-fault divorce must be preceded by a period of separation of at least six months, but you two can live under the same roof during that time, so her travel schedule can actually work in your favor.
Be Careful What You Wish
Only you (and your wife) can decide what your marriage can endure and what will kill it. If, though, you wish your wife would work locally, that is not a sure cure.
Lending Tree points out that some specific occupations have very high divorce rates for women, and all of them require minimal travel:
- Bartenders—divorce rate of 4.58 percent
- Waitresses—3.59 percent divorce rate
- Security guards and casino surveillance officers—divorce rate of 4.03 percent
Make Your Next Move a Smart One
If you have concerns about your wife’s traveling jobs, we suggest two smart moves to take:
- Ask her to join you in marriage counseling or couples therapy
- Contact a family law attorney to discuss fault-grounds and no-fault divorce in Virginia. Discuss your frustrations and fears with your attorney so you can both develop a strategy to bring serenity and stability back to your life while your ex travels the world as she likes.
The Firm For Men is ready to answer the questions Virginia’s men have about every aspect of family law. Contact us today or telephone our offices at (757) 383-9184 to get fast, accurate answers and our complete support for your rights as a Virginia man.