If a friend says to you, “What I’m saying is false,” is your friend lying? This classic conundrum is known as the Liar’s Paradox. You can waste time trying to unpack the rules of a self-referential dilemma. But what if you face a different kind of paradox, a dynamic where the rules of a heated competition seem to apply only to you? What if your wife refuses to follow the laws of the Commonwealth and orders of the courts? If your wife refuses to answer discovery, do you still have to abide by Virginia laws in a divorce?

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What Happens If Your Wife Refuses to Answer Divorce Discovery in Virginia?

Karma means something far different from most Westerners’ ideas of karma. Our society’s interpretation of karma is some sort of immediate reaction to a hasty choice, on a level of a superhero movie. Karma, the MindsJournal tells us, is action: “Buddhists believe that karma is an energy that we create through deliberate thoughts, words, behaviors, and deeds.”

If your wife does outrageous things during divorce proceedings, you are not responsible for deciding the consequences. You can complain to your attorney or scream to the heavens. Her karma comes not from you, but from her own actions.

Discovery in divorce proceedings is the presentation of evidence from both sides of a lawsuit. Think of it as a weird poker game where everyone shows all their cards before anyone places a bet. All players—or both divorcing spouses—show what they have got, with nothing hidden or held back. With the evidence open to everyone, both parties proceed.

Discovery helps both parties exchange information and evidence relevant to issues in the divorce, such as:

  • Finances
  • Separate and Marital Property
  • Child Custody
  • Child Support
  • Criminal Records
  • Health Records

Discovery can include affidavits, test results, professional opinions, photographs, audio recordings, text messages, handwritten notes, surveillance videos; the list seems endless. Additionally, a lot of discovery is done through discovery questions between attorneys. Your wife’s refusal to participate can create serious problems for her case, but it does not automatically decide the outcome. Your attorney can ask the court to compel appropriate discovery responses and, when warranted, seek sanctions.

A Virginia circuit court can order a party to provide discovery and may impose sanctions for noncompliance under applicable Virginia court rules. Contempt depends on the circumstances, including whether a court order has been violated. In Virginia, § 18.2-456 of the Code of Virginia allows judges to summarily punish a person for contempt for, among other causes, “Disobedience or resistance of an officer of the court, juror, witness, or other person to any lawful process, judgment, decree, or order of the court.”

Contempt sanctions are not automatic for an unanswered discovery request. Your lawyer can evaluate whether a motion to compel, sanctions, or other relief is appropriate. Any legal consequences arise from her conduct and the court’s orders, not from retaliation on your part. Focus on meeting your own obligations while your attorney addresses any failures to cooperate.

Do You Still Have to Respond to Discovery If Your Wife Does Not?

Yes. Your obligation to respond to valid discovery requests generally continues even if your wife has missed deadlines or refused to provide her own answers. Discuss objections, extensions, and enforcement with your Virginia divorce attorney rather than withholding your responses in retaliation.

Suppose you get a spur under your saddle and decide you, too, will refuse to answer discovery questions. The ol’ goose-gander problem. She refused, so you will show her! You will deny her your answers! You may face similar procedural consequences. One spouse’s failure to cooperate does not excuse the other spouse’s discovery obligations.

You will weaken your case if you step down to the level of a defiant pre-teen, mimicking your wife by refusing to answer discovery questions, or by refusing to gather evidence against her, or by refusing to present the court with reasons for the divorce.

Do the opposite of her — follow your attorney’s advice and answer discovery — and you will win in at least three areas:

  1. Credibility
  2. Your attorney’s trust and patience
  3. The court’s goodwill

Do not pull the ol’ rubber-and-glue nonsense. Circuit Court is not eighth grade and you are a grown man. Stick with the law, follow the requirements, respect the court, do as your attorney advises and guess what? you put yourself in a stronger position.

What Questions Must You Answer During Virginia Divorce Discovery?

Divorce discovery questions from opposing counsel generally fall into the same major categories that form the foundation of a property settlement agreement:

  • Finances, including valuations of personal and marital property
  • Child custody and child support
  • Spousal support
  • Personal history, parenting schedules, and parenting philosophies

Financial questions can include queries like these, designed to elicit help with equitable settlement:

  • How large are your debts?
  • Where have you been employed for the past decade?
  • How much do you spend in a typical month?
  • What retirement accounts do you have?
  • What are your income streams?
  • What is your annual income?
  • What is the market valuation of the marital home?
  • What other properties do the two of you own?
  • Do you own any separate (non-marital) real properties (homes, land) or personal properties (vehicles, tools, collectibles)?
  • Knowing about the divorce, have you transferred any separate or marital property to others?
  • Do you share any financial accounts with anyone other than your current spouse?

Discovery questions related to your family structure are common, too:

  • If you have already separated, what are your current custody and child support arrangements?
  • What is the name and contact information for your children’s medical professionals (including therapists, physicians, and counselors)?
  • What schools do your children attend, what grades are they in, and who are their principal teachers?
  • What extracurricular activities do your children participate in on a regular basis?

Another area of discovery that can be particularly prickly — parenting, personal history, and types of parenting styles — may unearth some embarrassing issues:

  • What is your criminal history?
  • Have you ever filed for bankruptcy?
  • What health problems could affect your ability to work or to care for children?
  • How do you handle disagreements with your spouse over parenting your children?
  • Have you ever been sued or involved in a lawsuit?

What Can You Do If Your Wife Avoids Discovery Requests?

Your attorney can review her objections, attempt to resolve the dispute, and, when appropriate, ask the circuit court to compel responses or impose sanctions. Do not ignore your own deadlines while that process unfolds.

One response to discovery requests is to claim the questions have no relevance or infringe on personal rights and freedoms. While discovery questions can be probing, they must be two things:

  1. Relevant to the case (preventing fishing expeditions for later lawsuits)
  2. Reasonable in an expectation of discovering admissible evidence

Discovery requests are subject to procedural limits, relevance standards, privileges, and protective orders. An objection should be evaluated under the applicable Virginia rules, not simply treated as evasion.

Sometimes the “answers” to your discovery questions are simply deflections like these:

  • “The question has been asked and answered already,” or
  • “The request is vague, overbroad, and unduly burdensome,” or
  • “The requested information is not relevant to the issues in dispute,” or
  • “Plaintiff is in possession of this information”

Your attorney will be well-versed in handling recalcitrant opposing parties. Again, your job in the divorce is not to inflict damage or karma on another’s actions. Leave that to the courts and your attorney. Your attorney no doubt knows about document dumps, deliberately missed deadlines, or the overuse of the same evasive answers to various questions.

Do not let your wife’s behavior affect your own legal standing. Keep doing the things your attorney and the court tell you to do.

Why are we so blithe about this? Virginia divorce cases in circuit court generally follow Virginia discovery rules, not the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure (FRCP), which govern federal civil litigation. Your attorney can use the Virginia Rules of Supreme Court, including discovery enforcement procedures, to address failures to respond.

For comparison, federal Rule 37 addresses “Failure to Make Disclosures or to Cooperate in Discovery; Sanctions.” In a Virginia state-court divorce, however, your lawyer should look to the applicable Virginia rules, including Rule 4:12, rather than assume federal Rule 37 controls.

Sanctions can be serious, but dismissal or other case-ending relief is not automatic. The court considers the specific discovery failure and the relief authorized by the governing rules.

How Can a Virginia Divorce Attorney Help With Discovery Disputes?

Let your wife destroy her own case. You do what your attorney advises, including answering all discovery questions put to you from your wife’s counsel. If she has not answered your own discovery questions, that is on her. You can chuckle to yourself as you imagine her attorney dealing with her stubborn refusal to face reality.

But for you to stay calm and do your duty, you first need an experienced divorce attorney. The Firm For Men helps Virginia men navigate divorce discovery, contested requests, and court procedures. Contact us today or telephone our Virginia Beach offices at (757) 383-9184.